The Three "R"s - Writing, Revising and Renos

This pretty much wraps up my life these days. You can't find a more boring person. Since January (December, really) you can find me doing one of three things: writing, revising and renos.

look familiar?

This is book three in the Clockwise series, the companion novel LIKE CLOCKWORK. Why do I keep throwing my manuscript on the floor? It helps me to "see" it, like a story board for a movie. I know there are software programs out there that do this, but I like to see it all at once. I find threads that aren't working and can figure out how to fix them. Usually it's as easy as moving a couple scenes around, or adding a space for a new scene. Or taking one out. What characters need more stage time?

When I'm done working out all the scenes of my first draft on the floor, I pick them up, pile by pile and work on each scene, dealing with all the details I didn't worry about in my first draft.

Then, on my third pass, I start from the other end, the last scene first. I paste these into a private blog post, with a narrow column that's not white like my word doc. I find reading my words in a different format/color helps me to see them again, and helps my brain to refrain from auto correcting.

When I'm not writing first drafts or revising them, I'm working on renos in my house. Lots of painting mostly, and I really do have to pay attention to this need if I hope to have the house ready to list next month. That and the de-cluttering.

How about you? What's keeping you busy?

Have a great weekend!

Do You Always Read to the End?

I hate quitting a book part way. I always want to give the story and the author the benefit of the doubt--there will be a pay off if I just push through to the end.

Confession: I've stopped reading a lot of books part way through this year. Eep. I never used to do this and I think what's changed is my massive, ever towering TBR pile.  I feel like I'm pressed for time to read all the books I want to read and if the one in my hand isn't compelling me to turn the pages then, why am I?

Case in point: I'm reading a book right now that has a lot of industry buzz. I've even read that it's the next Harry Potter. (Really? I doubt that.) It's not that it's not well written, it is. Or that it's not original, it is. It's just not grabbing me, y'know?

Last week I talked about the (lost) Art of the Satisfying Ending. Even though I was frustrated with the unfinished way Mara Dyer ended, at no point during the book itself did I ever contemplate not finishing it. I was hooked from the beginning and was propelled through the middle to the end. I was eager to get back to the pages when I did have to put the book down.

That's not happening with this book. Yet, part of me says, it's got BUZZ. I don't want to quit too soon and then miss something incredible.

How about you? Do you always push through to the end? Or do you move on without regret?

IN HIS EYES is almost here! Calling reviewers and cover reveal bloggers.

Call for reviewers and cover reveal bloggers for 

In His Eyes 

Indelibles Valentine’s Anthology

Just in time for Valentines Day, the Indelibles bring you a one-of-a-kind young adult anthology! Sixteen original short stories, all from the point of view of our favorite male characters - some are old flames from our novels and some were dreamed up especially for this anthology. 

Let these imminently crushable, swoon-worthy guys show you what romance looks like – in his eyes. 

The contributors to In His Eyes include award winners, frequent “Top 100” placers, and hot 2011 debut authors. 

If you'd like to review IN HIS EYES or post a cover reveal on your blog, let me know in the comments.

In His Eyes is FREE at Smashwords, and $0.99 at Amazon and Barnes&Noble - hopefully to go free there as well by our release date on February 14th for Valentines Day.

You could also add In His Eyes to your TBR list on Goodreads.

For more information about the Indelibles, check out our blog, facebook page, or follow us on Twitter. 

Stories included in the Anthology:

Surprise, Surprise by Stacey Wallace Benefiel, author of Glimpse: Half the women in Melody's family can see the future, which makes it nearly impossible for Raleigh to surprise her. What's a guy to do for Valentine's Day when his girlfriend is always one step ahead of him? 

First Kiss or First Kill? by C.K. Bryant, author of Bound: Love isn't always rainbows and kittens, sometimes it can be downright deadly. (A deleted chapter from Bound.) 

Shattered by Ali Cross, author of Become: James and Desi use each other in an effort to cling to the darkness in each of them, but in the end they discover that love changes everything. (A short story from James’ POV) 

Before by Jessie Harrell, author of Destined: When a younger Eros is exiled to a land that doesn't believe in the Greek gods, he finds the first love of his immortal life. Read Eros' first person account of his romance, and heartbreak, in the time before he met Psyche. 

The Qualm Before the Storm by Karen Amanda Hooper, author ofTangled Tides. Yara Jones doesn’t want to be a mermaid. Treygan doesn’t want to be the monster who turns her. You can’t always get what you want. (A short prequel to Tangled Tides.) 

Unspeakable by S.R. Johannes, author of Untraceable: When Mo sees a strange girl in the woods, he follows her. He soon realizes they are both in a dangerous position and might not get out alive. 

In the Beginning by Katie Klein, author of Cross My Heart: Seth is falling hard for Genesis Green, but the guardian angel is determined not to interfere, until an accident changes the course of their lives forever. (A short prequel to The Guardian.) 

A Chance Encounter by Cheri Lasota, author of Artemis Rising: Finnian's eyes hide a terrible secret. But a girl on the train home, the girl in tears with a secret of her own...She sees right through him. A scene from the upcoming novel, Echoes in the Glass. 

Family Bonds by Heather McCorkle, author of The Secret of Spruce Knoll: A Halloween party filled with teens who can channel energy and use it to kill, what could go wrong? For Spruce Knoll fans who are dying to read more about Fane. 

Getting Closer by Lisa Nowak, author of Running Wide Open: Megan is smart, hot, and an upperclassman—in other words, way out of Cody’s league. So why did she choose him? (An excerpt of Getting Sideways.) 

Precalculus by Cory Putman Oakes, author of The Veil: a re-telling of the fateful class period that changed Addison Russell’s life, from Luc’s point of view (a.k.a. Chapter 2 of The Veil from Luc’s perspective) 

The Almost Assassin by Laura Pauling, author of A Spy Like Me, releasing Spring 2012: Malcolm tries his hand at the family business but his conscience and a beautiful "spy" may be his downfall. 

Mind Games by Susan Kaye Quinn, author of Open Minds: Raf wants to take Kira—the only girl in school who doesn’t read minds—to the mindware Games, but his friends have other plans. (A short prequel to Open Minds.) 

By The Firelight by Elle Strauss, author of Clockwise: When Nate McKenzie asks an unpopular girl to dance on a dare, he's in for the time of his life. 

A Very Alien Valentine’s Day by Magan Vernon, author of How To Date An Alien: After surviving confinement and an intergalactic war for his human half, Alex, now he has to live through the biggest challenge of them all: Valentine's Day. 

Aligned by RaShelle Workman, author of Exiled: A half-Eternal boy and an Eternal girl must free millions of tortured souls from a creature whose been feasting on their pain and suffering.

The Art of the Satisfying Ending

Martha Alderson, aka, The Plot Whisper says, the beginning hooks the reader but the ending makes them fans. (She's done a series of videos on plot that are worth watching if you haven't already, plus I hear she scored an agent --Jill Corcoran--and has a book coming out.)

I totally agree. I can't tell you how many books I've read this year where I finished the book with a WTH?

This just happened a few days ago.

If you follow my blog you might remember I won an Amazon card and I asked for help in what book to buy. I listed all the books that were recommended and went to Amazon to read the first page of all the books. Only one book hooked  me on page one: The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin.

Other books may have turned out to be better, but none of them hooked me on the first page.

And I really enjoyed The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer. It was different. I was never sure what was going on, lots of twists and turns and mystery. Plus sizzling hot guy. I was ready to declare love.

Until the end. The author lost my fanship in the last chapter. So sad. Not only was it kind of confusing, I found it hard to track what was going on, but the chapter ended with a sort of cliff hanger with the words, End of Volume One. Agh.

I understand the series craze. For publishers of all sorts it spells money. But just because a book is a series doesn't mean the ending has to suck.

One example of an anticipated series with a complete first book is Veronica Roth's Divergent. It the first book in a series with a SATISFYING ENDING. Book one wraps up nicely, with room for the continuation of the story.

Is it just me? Or are we suffering from a shortage of satisfying endings?

It's a Little Haywire is Live and Free!

My middle grade IT'S A LITTLE HAYWIRE is FREE on kindle for the next three days.

This is a book that is dear to my heart for a number of reasons. I spent many of my childhood summers in a town similar to Haywire (except a Canadian prairie version). Long hot days trying to find ways to turn the mundane into adventure.

Laura Pauling says "IT'S A LITTLE HAYWIRE reminds me of Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo. It's that good."

(Thanks, Laura :)

http://www.amazon.com/Its-a-Little-Haywire-ebook/dp/B0072Z5DWQ

Owen True is eleven and eleven twelfths and has been “exiled” to the small crazy town of Hayward, WA, aka, Haywire, while his mother is on her honeymoon. All he has to whittle away the time is the company of Gramps, his black lab Daisy, and his Haywire friends, Mason and Mikala Sweet. They don’t look so hot this year, in fact, the whole town has gone to pot since the mill shut down.

Owen has his first encounter with a real life homeless man who ends up needing Owen’s help in more ways than one. But how does a rich city kid help the small town’s suffering citizens?

And what is Owen to make of the fog train and its scary, otherworldy occupants that appears out of thin air on the old tracks behind Gramps’ house? Do they have the answer Owen is looking for?

Comes with illustrations and hyperlinks to Charlie True's golden oldie playlist

Pick up your copy today!

Friday Four or Five

1. This was me this week:

substitute laptop for computer and pajamas for clothes

- good thing my husband was out of town

2. And a lot of this:

Why do I write historical fiction? It would be so much easier if I didn't have to worry about things like facts.

3. Good news is there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that big pile of papers scattered on the floor in my living room (see last post), is almost gone and I will get ClockwiseR to my lovely betas on schedule. Whoot!

4. IT'S A LITTLE HAYWIRE, is releasing on Monday January 30th and if all goes well, will be FREE for three days. Watch for it!


5. Now with my foray into Middle Grade, I'm interested in posts like this:
Are Tweens a thing?Actually, I was interested in it before I wrote middle grade because I've always thought there was a missing section in the children's genre. I'm glad it's getting some attention now.


How about you? Do you think publishing is missing an important age group?

Happy Weekend everyone!

Monday Musings - All the Plates in the Air

A lot of things happened this weekend.

1) I got my first big author blurbage for Clockwise, which I'm completely stoked about. This is it:

"I loved Clockwise! A great read, and I love your Casey/Cassandra. Congratulations."
- Wendy Orr, author of Nim's Island

(Nim's Island!)

It was due to a serendipitous meeting on twitter plus the fact that Wendy is just a super nice, down to earth person.

2) CLOCKWISE IS FREE TODAY on Amazon, the last day of five days. I've spent most of that time in the top 100 of the kindle free store, which I'm quite happy about. There are a lot of advantages to free promotion, and I have to attribute #1 on this list in part to that.

3) You don't get a review like this everyday: Banning the bullsh*t.  Thanks to Saffi for that. 

4) I'm busting my braincells working on ClockwiseR, the sequel to Clockwise.

watch your step

 5) I've never been busier but I'm enjoying myself despite semi-regular panic attacks.  I've made my own schedule, so my busyness is entirely my fault. 

The thing about indie pubbing is you GET to do everything yourself and the other thing about indie pubbing is you HAVE to do everything yourself. 


Another thing I'm learning as an indie pubber is that things always take more time than you schedule for them. And that there are a lot of things. SR Johannes has an excellent post for writers considering indie publishing that will scare the pants off you.

How about you?  Are you good at pacing your writing tasks?

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE - Tween book by SR Johannes

Today I'm privileged to be part of author SR Johannes's blog tour of her up coming Tween book, 

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, releasing January 31.

Gabby is a disgruntled tween angel who has just been assigned to protect her school nemesis and ex-beffie. Problem is her ex-beffie is dating Gabby’s longtime crush. Instead of protecting Angela, Gabby pranks her (since when is sticking toilet paper to her shoe or spinach in her teeth a sin?) Soon, Gabby gets out of control and is put on probation by her SKYAgent, who has anger management issues of his own. Determined to right her wrongs, Gabby steals an ancient artifact that allows her to return to Earth for just one day. Without knowing, she kicks off a series of events and learns what can happen when you hate someone to death.

1. What inspired you to write On the Bright Side?

It was Dec 08 at Christmas time. I had just finished reading Cynthia Leitich Smith's Eternal and Lisa Schroeder’s I Heart You, You Haunt Me. I was subbing Untraceable to agents and needed to pass the time. I happened to sit down and watch one of those "Near Death Experience" shows. The man was talking about his "near death experience" and how he felt totally peaceful and happy when he crossed over. He didn't want to come back. I wanted to play with that. What if when we die - we are happy and we aren't sad? What if all those negative feelings end - no matter who you leave behind or what happened in your life. I wondered if I could do a book about death in a humorous way and get away with it.

The question became “what if a disgruntled angel is the only one who isn't happy. What if she is forced to protect someone she doesn’t like?" Brought back all the times I wished I could be a fly on the wall, listening to my crush and eavesdropping on my frenemies. Then I thought about the opposite of death. What if a girl didn't want to be a cool angel? What if she just wanted to be human again?

That became much more interesting. I knew if I was going to do a middle grade, I needed it to be less heavy and more fun and light and hip. Something more like Meg Cabot or Ally Carter.


On the Bright Side is funny and light even though death, loss, forgiveness, and the fear of moving on are at its core.

2. Why did you decide to write tween?

I tend to do mostly YA Thrillers so this one came out of left field. I didn't decide on tween - I guess it just found me. I got this idea for an angel story - to show the dead side. Most books seemed to show the hot angel or the person the angel was going after. I wanted to explore death form a dead person's perspective.It started out as a heavier YA. But the voice sounded funny, which made Gabby sound younger. Trust me, I tried to make it YA. Even tried taking it down to MG. Especially because of all the hoopla about tween not being a shelf at B&N and a hard sell. Editors asked me to age up or down but I couldn't. Gabby was just 14. I must say, it was fun to write and Gabby makes me laugh :) That was nice after Untraceable, which is much heavier and not happy.

3. What are you working on next?

The Indelible's have an Anthology, "In His Eyes" coming out Feb 14th, all short stories from the perspective of hot guys. Mo, from Untraceable, makes an encore as he talks about meeting Grace.

Beyond that, all I see right now is Uncontrollable, the sequel to Untraceable. And I can't wait to get back on it. It's scheduled for some time in the summer.


Oh, I've heard about that anthology, *wink*.  On the Bright Side sounds so cute. Can't wait to read it.

Free for the Next Five Days!

This is a public service announcement.

CLOCKWISE is FREE on Amazon for the next five days!

Go get your copy now!

Bonus: Includes first two chapters of the sequel, ClockwiseR!

Body Image Funnies

My brain is fried. I have to finish the first draft of the sequel to Clockwise this week and the companion book by the middle of February if I want to make my deadlines. And I have blog tours set up already, so I can't fudge on this.

So, here's the best I can come up with that doesn't require a lot of brain power. Both of these are their own commentary on the modern view of "cool" and beauty.

Funny and scary at the same time.

If you believe in evolution, then you have this to look forward to. :)

And this: Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting...

What Matters Remains

Four years ago a good friend of ours died. Henk Boesten was a good husband, a good father and a good friend. It was hard to say goodbye.

It's easy to forget what really matters in life, especially when we get so crazy busy with our stuff. I know I do. Every once in a while it's good to be reminded that life is short, to slow down and smell those proverbial roses, whatever that looks like to you.

Last year Henk's son, Nico, had a dream about his dad. It was a profound dream which included these words of wisdom: What matters remains.

Nico wrote a song. Then he told the story. Both videos are here. Stop for a moment, take a look and a listen. Breathe.

You'll be glad you did.

Winner of CLOCKWISE and IT'S A LITTLE HAYWIRE

First of all, thanks to everyone who dropped in on the Indelibles Blog Hop. So much fun. I had both of my books up for grabs, an e-copy of  my YA time travel CLOCKWISE, and my brand new, not officially released, MG, IT'S A LITTLE HAYWIRE.

The winner chosen by Random.org is...

                                               VALERIE!!

Valerie, contact me by email, ellestraussbooks at gmail dot com and I'll make sure to get those to you.

Make sure you check back in with the Indelibles to see if you are the winner of the Kindle Fire!

Introducing the Indelibles- and WIN!

INDELIBLES ON FIRE!


Welcome to the Indelibles Blog Hop!

In celebration of our official launch, we are giving away a  
KINDLE FIRE! If you’d like to start at the beginning of the INDELIBLES ON FIRE GIVEAWAY BLOG HOP, then please start here: http://indeliblewriters.blogspot.com/


If you are already mid-hop, then welcome to your next stop! By following the link at the bottom of this post, you can proceed to the next author (and check out the awesome, individual giveaways we are doing along the way!). If you are entering to win the KINDLE FIRE, don’t forget to make a note of the keyword at the end of every blog post - the words spell out a phrase you will need to enter the contest on the last stop.


Marketing guru Shelli Johannes Wells has teamed up with twenty-four other indie and small press authors to bring you the Indelibles.

“We are indie authors who write middle grade and young adult fiction.

We are dedicated to leaving a permanent mark on the world with our stories and words.

We are The Indelibles.”

Each week, we’ll explore fun, fabulous, and fierce topics for today’s teens, drawing on pop culture and themes from the books we write. Check out our official launch TODAY, January 9th for fun giveaways at http://indeliblewriters.blogspot.com/. We’ll also be having a “blogger” chat on January 11th and a writer/author chat on the 18th to answer questions about self and indie pubbing. See our blog for details.


Who am I?
I'm Elle Strauss, author of the YA Time Travel fantasy, CLOCKWISE and the middle grade contemporary/magic realism book, IT'S A LITTLE HAYWIRE.
You could win both e-books!

A teen time traveler accidentally takes her secret crush back in time. Awkward.

And my brand new baby, not yet officially released!

A rich city boy helps a poor small town when inspired by mystical beings.
 

Owen True is eleven and eleven twelfths and has been “exiled” to the small crazy town of Hayward, WA, aka Haywire while his mother is on her honeymoon. All he has to whittle away the time is the company of Gramps, his black lab Daisy, and his Haywire friends, Mason and Mikala Sweet. They don’t look so hot this year, in fact the whole town has gone to pot since the mill shut down.

Owen has his first encounter with a real life homeless man who ends up needing Owen’s help in more ways than one. But how does a rich city kid help the small town’s suffering citizens?

And what is Owen to make of the fog train and its scary, otherworldy occupants that appears out of thin air on the old tracks behind Gramps’ house? Do they have the answer Owen is looking for?

Comes with original illustrations and hyperlinks to Charlie True's golden oldies playlist!

Click the It's a Little Haywire tab at the top of my blog to read the first chapter.


Just "like" my author Facebook page (top right of right column), sign up for my newsletter--I promise I won't spam you! (top of left column) and leave a comment with your name and I'll enter you in to win both e-books!

The keyword for this stop on the hop is: FIERCE

Continue the hop and visit the next Indelibles author, JESSIE HARRELL.

Thanks for stopping by!!

Friday Four or Five - Starting Off with a Bang!

Weather wise, January has been unseasonably mild, but in other ways it's blasting through. I have so much going on writing wise, (and otherwise, but I'll stick to the writing wise) so I'll let you all know what's going one in the immediate future.

1) I've joined this fantastic group of writers called THE INDELIBLES, see the cool button on the right to check out our new website! We are launching in a big way on Monday with a blog hop and a chance to win lots of free books and a KINDLE FIRE.

2) I'm being published in an anthology! IN HIS EYES is a collection of short stories by The Indelibles, featuring our book boyfriends. Curious about how Nate McKenzie from CLOCKWISE felt when he accepted the dare to ask Casey to dance? He was in for the time of his life!

The anthology is being released on February 14th, in time for Valentines Day. :)

3) I'm almost ready to release my new middle grade, IT'S A LITTLE HAYWIRE.  Cover reveal coming soon!

4) Check out my newly updated Writing and Publishing Tips tab, where you'll find links to my free, exclusive to Wattpad, book CRAFTING YOUR BEST STORY.

5) As you can see I've been busy. It's one of the reasons I haven't been "present" on the blogosphere as much as usual lately. There is a season for everything, and as I look ahead to all my writing projects and an upcoming move (=a lot of renos=blah=double blah), I will be posting less often on my blog, just until I get caught up.


Have a great weekend everyone, and we'll see you Monday at the Indelibles launch!!

Goals and Confessions Take 3

Well, it's that time of year again. I can't believe this is my third January 01 post. It's kind of scary looking back at former goals and confessions now that I can track results.

2011 was an interesting year for me. I started off 100% on the track to pursue traditional publishing and half way through jumped rails into self/indie publishing. A couple things brought that on, besides the whole publishing is being turned on its head thing.

1) I had three books go out on submission and none sold.
2) My second agent and I decided to part ways.

Two pretty good reasons to give self-publishing a go.
So, after being in the do-it-yourself throes for half a year, what do I think? I think it's pretty exciting. And I think it's pretty hard.

But not so hard that I won't keep going. I went into it knowing I'd be learning as I went a long, starting from a foundation of knowing basically nil. Now I'm going into 2012 with a foundation of some knowledge, a better strategy and more realistic expectations. I feel like 2012 is opportunity for a do over. I'm not going to waste the first half of the year waiting for someone else to make something happen for me. And what I do do for myself, I'll do smarter.

This doesn't mean I'm done with traditional publishing. I'm still of the philosophy that diversification is a good idea.

If the first part of this post was my confession, this part is my goals.

1) continue to self-publish the Clockwise series
1b) learn how to better market and publicize myself and my books.

2) self-publish middle grade book, It's a Little Haywire

3) pursue traditional publishing with current wip

4) pursue small press pub with historical YA when its ready

I'll stop there. If I can manage these in the year I'll be happy.

How about you? Do you have publishing goals and confessions for 2012?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I'm signing off for the holidays. I may pop in on Twitter or FB on occasion, but this is my last blog until January 01, 2012. I don't know about you, but I need a couple weeks to process everything that happened in 2011. It certainly didn't go how I'd imagined, but do the years ever?

A recap and new plan will present itself for my blog on the first, but for now I want to take time to enjoy my family, all six of us plus my parents together for the holidays for a couple of weeks before all but my youngest leave again, and to reflect on the reason for the season.

A young Canadian musician hailing from snowy Winnipeg Manitoba recorded a unique version of Little Drummer Boy that has gone viral on you tube. I hear he now has an L.A. agent.

Here it is, so enjoy.



I wish you and your loved ones many blessings and a peaceful and joyous Christmas time.

Elle

Query Critique #9- Elle Style (The Four Step Plan)

This is a continuation of a series started when I guest blogged for Janice Hardy a while ago about writing queries/ pitches in four easy steps.

Read on to learn from others!

To recap:

1)Who it's about

2)The circumstance

3)The conflict

4)The hook

Kierra

Dear Ms. (name here),

‘Remy, a A seventeen year-old fairy godmother trainee gets a new assignment: The hottest guy—GUY—at school. Easy, right? Wrong.’who it’s about. Already a cute hook. You don't need the single quote marks.

Magically poofing in somebody’s bathroom while that somebody is taking a shower is not the best way to start off a friendship—that, Remy learned the hard way. After screwing up her previous mission months ago, Remy, a teenage fairy godmother trainee, gets another assignment. And it’s not just another assignment: She’ll be having awkward phrasing a MALE ‘godchild. Is this same assignment mentioned in the first sentence? I’d combine these two paragraphs to eliminated repeating yourself.’ To make it worse, he is the school’s hottest guy, a.k.a. Kyle Hughes. Oh, and not to mention that she had a major crush on him since, like, forever. Another repeat. The circumstance.

But when she magically appeared in his shower, everything went wrong. He hated her, he called her a pervert, he was convinced that she was deranged and mentally-retarded perhaps challenged?, and he didn’t want her help. But with Remy’s wish to have a full-on career as a certified fairy godmother at stake, she’ll do just everything to find Kyle’s happily ever after, even if it did involve quite a few tricks, snakes, broken magic wands, more of her famous screw ups, nasty witches who are out to get her, and her heart breaking. The conflict paragraph. There is quite a lot going on here. If possible I’d pick the two main events and elaborate a littel about them.

Question is: What about her happily ever after?

Well, with her magic wand and her awesome poofing skills, anything is possible—NOT.Move this up with previous sentence which becomes a two sentence hook.

A fairy tale with a modern twist, a proof that nobody is too old for fairy tales.

Set in the modern times with a splurge  splash of humor and romance thrown together, readers will surely find themselves relating to Remy as she continues to try--and fail, whether it's with her magic, her teenage hormones, or her seemingly harmless crush. Young adults, the target readers, would easily imagine themselves as Remy, minus the magic wand and all. Less is more

I think of myself as someone married to writing. Before I was even a teenager, I think I've fallen in love with words and began writing since then. Most of my stories are posted on the net on some amateur writing sites (Wattpad, Wordpress, Inkpop, etc.). I don't have much experience, but I'm taking this chance to have "Remy Unenchanted" as my debut novel. This is info you can give in your first phone call.

Please let me know if you are interested in reading the full copy of Remy Unenchanted my (insert word count here-word manuscript.
 
My diagnosis: This is a cute query that just needs to be tightened up, but all the key pieces are there. 

Nicole Zoltack  
 

Dear Agent:

Thirteen-year-old wannabe novelist Elena doesn't care about school, only her stories.  Who it’s about. It's too bad they never come true… until the day she writes that the class bully gets detention, that is. Coincidence? This sentence is hard to understand. Did she write a story about the class bully getting a detention. Just needs a bit of tweaking to make it clear.Elena doesn't think so after she writes that the secretary has to go to the bathroom, and then he rushes out like he's about to wet his pants. Everything she writes with her new pen comes true. The circumstance

But then the pen writes a story darker than any of Elena’s about a mystical fantasy land being overrun by demons. If that isn't bad enough, a demon crosses over to Earth, kidnaps her family, and hides them in the Land of Imagining. Elena will do whatever she can to save them. The conflict.Unfortunately, it's not as simple as writing a happy ending - whenever Elena uses the pen, someone turns into a demon, and she could be next. The hook

ELENA’S PEN is a 66,000-word upper MG fantasy novel with series potential. Readers of Michael Ende's THE NEVERENDING STORY and Philip Pullman's HIS DARK MATERIALS series will enjoy my book.

My diagnosis: I can tell you've spent a lot of time on this already. It's very close. I don't have a lot to suggest here. I'd give the hook sentence it's own paragraph to set it apart.


If you'd like me to look at your query, you can post it in the comments. I won't be able to get to another critique until the new year.

Cover Reveal for SLEEPERS by Megg Jensen!

To celebrate the re-launch of SLEEPERS in January of 2012, Megg is
giving it a new cover with artwork from the incredible PhatPuppy.
(phatpuppyart.com)

I love this new cover!

 An adoptee raised in a foreign land, sixteen-year-old Lianne
was content with her life as handmaiden to the queen, until a spell
cast on her at birth is activated.

Now she's filled with uncontrollablerage and access to magic she thought had been bled from her people years ago. Even her years of secret training in elite hand-to-hand combat and meditation can’t calm the fires raging inside her.

Her heart is torn between two boys, the one she’s always loved and the
one who always ignored her. But when the kingdom threatens to tear
itself apart due to rumors surrounding the queen’s alleged affair, who
will Lianne protect and who will she destroy?

On sale now for only 99 cents!

Friday Four or Five

1.

A Christmas tree made of books -- Isn't that fantastic?

2.This is the last Free Song Friday, so Merry Christmas and enjoy.This thing called you and me
 Raucous alt/country shenanigans.

3.Goodreads winner: Thank you to the over 1200 people who entered to win Clockwise on Goodreads. The winner is Catherine Feldhaus! Your copy is in the mail.

4. My two oldest sons come home for Christmas today! Can't wait to squeeze them again. Then all six of us will be home until the New Year. Noisy and messy but lovely.

5. I had a lot of great suggestions on Monday on how to spend my gift card, and I promised I'd let you  know how I spent it. I bought The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer. Thanks @melissaswims for the recommendation!

Happy Weekend everyone!

Query Critique #8- Elle Style (The Four Step Plan)

How to write a query or pitch in four easy steps.

To recap:
1) who it's about
2) the circumstance
3) the conflict
4) the hook

Sareh said...

Thank you so much for the awesome advice and the critiques! Here's my pitch for my story, The Cursing. Oh and a question, is there a certain length pitches should be? No longer than what could fit on the back of a book.

Fifteen-year-old Princess Tatiana lives in the world of Alfheimr, there lives alongside a race of fallen angels known as the Angeni.I added the mc to this sentence to provide the first step, who it’s about. They are a Her people are lost to darkness, misguided by evil spirits called the Ancients. One misstep or wrong action can lead to death or worse -- a sacrifice to the blood thirsty beings -- and no one is safe, not even the Cursed Imperial family.

Fifteen-year-old The Princess Tatiana is now only two months away from becoming the High Priestess, which means everything to a girl who has never left the inner sanction of the Temple. Her life has been shrouded in lies and deceit for as long as she can remember, but now, the truth is finally starting to come out. And it must; her life, freedom, and her people people depend on it.   I cut this because it’s vague statement, and specifics are better in a query. We’re looking for circumstance, which is stated in the first paragraph and the first sentence here.

Suddenly, a dream and a forbidden encounter with her half-sister Minora good detail change everything, and Tatiana is faced with more questions than ever before. She becomes restless, curious, and bold. Bold enough to risk her life to leave the temple early, bold enough to meet the Faerie her sister prophesied about, and bold enough to take on not only her kingdom, but the Ancients themselves. This states the conflicts. All in the name of freedom and love. 

Yet But will love be strong enough to save them?

My diagnosis: It just needed a little re-organizing of information, but all the pieces are there.

staceylee said...

Fifteen  15-year-old Samantha Young has nowhere to go when her father, a Chinaman, perishes in a blaze that consumes their dry goods store and leaves her an orphan. Who it’s about.So when the richest man in St. Joseph, Missouri, offers her lodging in his hotel, she takes it. Only it’s not a hotel, but it’s a brothel. The circumstance.

When he attempts to ‘test out the goods,’ she bashes him with a scrubbing brush. Now she faces the noose. The law in 1849 will not side with a Chinese girl, even if she killed in self-defense. More circumstance
She flees west with Annamae, a runaway slave. They disguise themselves as young men and join a trio of cowboys bound for the California gold rush.

The unburned half of Father’s life savings is flying down the Oregon Trail with his business partner. If she could recover the money, she could start the language school Father always dreamed of. Maybe it’ll make up for not returning in time to rescue him, all because she wanted to show him how much she hated his plan to move them to the barren west coast.  We’re missing the conflict. I crossed out the last sentence because it’s  more back story than conflict. We need a few details that show us how difficult it is to catch the business partner, what is it that is getting in her way. 

Now if she can only catch the partner before the law catches her . the hook.. .

GOLDEN BOYS is an 83,000 word historical YA fiction novel that follows Samantha’s journey from girl to adult (with a stint as a boy) through the frontier of a changing society. 

My diagnosis: The conflict paragraph needs work but the other pieces are there.

Jami Gold said...

Yesterday, Collette’s biggest challenge was trying to be a good wife and mother.

Today, this stay-at-home mom who it’s about is condemned to be a pawn in a coup d'état among immortals. The circumstance

A secret society of immortals has sworn to protect humanity, but a power-hungry traitor among them wants to take control. After he sees a photograph of Collette, the traitor orchestrates her abduction from her family. Just her luck, she resembles the current ruler’s might be better to name him too lost love. More circumstance

The traitor uses her to trick the current lord of the immortals into breaking one of their highest laws. This is the conflict paragraph and could use more details. At least a hint at how he tricks her and what the highest law is. Lord Gabriel, a good and honorable man, doesn’t know of her role in his impending downfall. Who is Lord Gabriel? Is he the current ruler?

Now, she must take sides.how? We’re not quite seeing her conflict. Does she have to make a choice? Between what and what and how it leads to this next question.Which immortal is more likely to allow her to return to her family, her captor or the man she’s unintentionally setting up for destruction?

Along the way, Collette dies—twice. Nice hook.

My diagnosis: The conflict paragraph needs work but the rest is there (the theme today). I’d be happy to look at a revision, Jami. Just post it in the comments.